Breaches in Etiquette Help Communities Develop Deeper Connections

Guest Post By: Samantha Burke


You would expect in the forums of Judge My Ride to find that breaches in etiquette are deleted by moderators, but instead the breaches in etiquette that occur actually develop the community connections. Judge My Ride (JMR) is an anomaly in the online community world because in their forums, a post is recognized by either a single flame or two flames. While flames are generally considered negative in the online world because they are hurtful or derogatory comments or posts, in the JMR world a flame means your post is on fire because it gets a lot of traffic. The scholarly community believes that breaches in etiquette would harm a community and cause it to collapse, but after doing further research into the forums of JMR it appeared that the breaches in etiquette caused them to grow and develop.

JMR is an online community in which members post videos, photos or questions about their riding or their horse or an experience they had. There are recognized 'judges' who are accredited members of the equine industry who comment on posts and then there are the every day members who also comment and critique. Where judges offer their critique on the formal part of the site:


The forums are all every day members connecting and interacting with each other. The forums are a different aspect of the community in which the members interact more as if they were friends off the internet. The community members show their true feelings or release stress that they've been holding or discuss problems that they've encountered that others can relate to. The most interesting aspect of this is that more often than not, the posts that gain the most attention are those that have some aspect of breaking etiquette.

Etiquette in online communities can be different from that in the real world. When posting online there isn't the inflection that one gains from face to face interaction so things that may normally be okay because of tone are not because the tone is lost in the online world. The biggest breach of etiquette on JMR is when people discuss problems with trainers or barns. Generally is is expected that when problems occur it will be kept within the barn and the people who were actually involved, but many of the most visited posts are the ones that discuss an issue with a trainer. Take for example, woahpony's post about her experience while her trainer was away:


This post got 39 replies and 400 views. In the JMR world this makes the post worthy of a double flame. Another post by dkatz got 22 replies and 485 views:


What makes these posts so much more popular than a post about a new saddle or new horse?
The answer becomes apparent when the posts are looked at side by side. People like to talk about themselves and they especially like to discuss problems that they have because their opinions can be validated. Posts that have something that causes a reaction amongst the users will gain more attention than a post that has no edge to it. This applies outside of the internet as well. People like to discuss topics that create strong emotions and opinions. In the case of JMR, sometimes this release of emotion can be seen as breaching standard calls of etiquette. This example shows the effect of discussing negative experiences with a barn or trainer. Here is a screenshot of a post by Dkatz entitled Worst Barns:



Some parts of society consider a post like Dkatz's to be a breach of etiquette because it is complaining to random strangers about incidents that they were not involved in. This kind of breach in etiquette can actually help build a community because it creates discussion and makes people want to talk to each other. Her post currently has 22 replies and over 400 views which shows that her post is garnering attention from the other members of the site. Jenny Preece argued in her her 2004 article “Etiquette Online: From Nice toNecessary,” that in order for a community to be successful, it has to become“self-regulating.” A “self-regulating community” is one in which members of thecommunity gently correct other members for their behavior so that themoderators don’t have to be following every post all the time (59). This post creates an example of this because another one of the members took offense to the post and decided to correct Dkatz.



While Dana did not mention names of barns or trainers or even horses, CaseySpragens still felt that this post was inappropriate, but went about correcting it in a way that was not helpful to the community. It would be easier to take Spragens seriously if she had used proper grammar and spelling, but since she didn't, she is in effect, making herself look immature and childish. Her misspelling of "rode" and "aweful" takes away any sense of intelligence and shows her as lacking in credibility. This shows that while breaches in etiquette may offend some members, they are not always the sign of the death of a community. While Spragens took offense to the post many other members saw it as a way to release frustrations that they had about barns that they'd ridden or boarded at as evidenced by the continued replies.

Part of the reason that these sorts of posts are so popular is that they feed the innate narcissism in people. As Nathan DeWall, Laura Buffardi, Ian Bonser, and Keith Campbell who argued in their article, “Narcissism and implicit attention seeking: Evidence from linguistic analyses of social networking and online presentation,” a “crucial component of narcissism is the need to be the
center of attention,” which is evident in the forums because the most popular posts are those that put people in the spotlight (58). The members of JMR like to talk about themselves just like people outside of the internet like to talk about themselves and when a post allows people the chance to discuss experiences that they've had, they go all out. The posts that can be considered a breach of etiquette are posts that create strong reactions among members and those posts are what truly develop a community because it allows the members to form bonds with each other.

As Spragens shows with her use of Dana's first name, the members get to know each other through use of the forums because they begin interacting on a regular basis. CatherineNorman is known as 'Cat' in the forums because she is a regular poster and the members begin to recognize her. ValofFrance is known as Val by many members because she is open and friendly to everyone. The forums allow bonds to form outside of the real world. Although most of the members will never interact outside of the internet, they still get to know each other and they develop relationships with one another fostered by breaches in etiquette because they allow them to release emotion and comiserate over similar experience. Diane Conrad furthers this in her 2002 article “Inhibition, Integrity And Etiquette Among Online Learners: The Art Of Niceness,” with the argument that the first step in building a connection is learning other members' real names which helps establish "credibility and authenticity" (199). The connections that form between members in the forums are what lead to the use of first names and further development of relationships that carry across the site. The well known members almost become a family and they form a network that others go to for advice and help. Val is one such members who always has people posting photos for her, like this one:



Even members who are new to JMR know of Val. Just goes to show that she is an important part of the community. Posts are directly addressed to her as opposed to the judges because the members see her as being personable and kind in her crtique.

Judge My Ride is in some ways just like every other community online, and in others it is completely different. Part of what holds it together is the fact that all the members have one thing in common: their love of horses. This allows members to interact and discuss and connect with each other in a way that is generally only found offline. JMR allows breaches in etiquette to build the community and further its reach into the online world instead of letting them break it. For those of you who want to contribute in forums or comments, be conscious of other's feelings, but don't censor yourself too much, because sometimes your breach in etiquette can grow to be a discussion beyond your imagination.

Works Cited

Conrad, Dianne. "Inhibition, Integrity and Etiquette Among Online Learners: The Art Of Niceness." Distance Education 23.2 (2002): 197-212. Academic Search Complete. Web. 14 Sept. 2012.

DeWall, Nathan, Laura Buffardi, Ian Bonser, and Keith Campbell. "Narcissism and implicit attention seeking: Evidence from linguistic analyses of social networking and online presentation." Personality and Individual Differences 51 (2011): n. pag. EBSCOhost. Web. 17 Nov. 2012.

Dkatz. “Worst Barns.” Judge My Ride. N.P., October 7 2012. Web. November 4 2012.

Mgunn4795. "Val Please Judge!" Judge My Ride. N.P., November 17 2012. Web. November 17 2012.

Preece, Jenny. "ETIQUETTE ONLINE: From NICE To NECESSARY." Communications Of The ACM 47.4 (2004): 56-61. Academic Search Complete. Web. 14 Sept. 2012.

Spragens, Casey. “Re: Worst Barns.” Judge My Ride. N.P., October 8 2012. Web. November 4 2012.